The Carmudgeon Show

• BMW M5 Touring vs Audi RS6 Performance — Carmudgeon Show w Jason Cammisa & Derek Tam-Scott — Ep 194

  We review the new Audi RS6 Avant Performance, G99 BMW M5 Touring, Mercedes-AMG S63 E Performance and Porsche Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid. One looks spectacular, one has the most impressive suspension of all time, and one is unbuyable. === This episode is sponsored by Vyper Industrial — America’s #1 rated shop chair, tool carts, and creepers, proudly made here in the US. Visit vyperindustrial.com and use code CARMUDGEON for $50 off. === Welcome to the performance wagon episode! We’ve got Jason’s blue E30 325i Touring in the garage as we discuss a pair of long-roof autobahn bruisers: the G99 BMW M5 Touring and C8 Audi RS6 Avant Performance. With the cancellation of Porsche’s Panamera Sport Turismo, we turn to Porsche’s top-spec suppository in its stead: the Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid. And, similarly, with the E63 wagon gone, we’ll review the Mercedes-AMG S63 E Performance to tide us over until the new E53 wagon arrives. Starting with the brand new BMW M5 Touring: a letdown as serious as its curb weight. A twin-turbo hot-vee V-8 alongside some EV juice dolls out 717 hp, but long before you’re able to stretch its legs the suspension will have you nauseous. It heaves and lunges over road imperfections, and the rear-wheel steering makes it feel like you're perpetually entering the D dimension. Even with new, chunky-sidewalled Pirelli P Zero R tires, the ride is harsh, and the suspension is blatantly unfinished. Do a hard launch and prepare for simultaneous – and yet somehow also out-of-phase – wheelspin and violent pogoing. Things aren’t much better styling-wise – the front-end treatment is positively hideous, and there’s comparatively little backseat and cargo room next to the Audi. Overall, a huge let down, and a far cry from the delightful G80 M3 (buck teeth aside). Sadly, it will be a long, long while before we can import the G80 M3 Touring. However, it’s worth noting that early M products have had teething issues before (including the beloved E90 M3). Jason suggests waiting for the arrival of the Competition Pack, but you’ll still be stuck with a gaudy interior and byzantine infotainment system. The Audi RS6 Performance on the other hand is an absolute delight and unexpectedly fabulous. Without the bulk of hybrid batteries, the Audi weighs in at 400 lbs lighter than the Bimmer. It’s all-around gorgeous – inside and out – and has loads of room for both passengers and cargo. Its steering is genuinely superior to the BMW’s and Jason dubs it the “best wagon in the world.” As for the Porsche Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid – it’s Bose’s 1990s dream realized. Jason heralds it as the most impressive suspension he’s ever felt – ever. Like if a Rolls-Royce could turn. It comes equipped with the same potent powertrain found in the Bentley Continental GT Speed and Flying Spur, which is so powerful it earned the Porsche the label of quickest 4-door ICE car ever (the 4-door electric monsters still have it beat – the Lucid Air Sapphire and Tesla Model S Plaid both run in the 9s). And lastly, we have Mercedes-AMG S63 E Performance – a charmer. The interior is slightly gaudy but otherwise splendid. Our particular car’s cabin was a huge improvement over the Macanese bordellos of previous W223s and W222s. The convoluted and clunky drivetrain was an occasional annoyance (and has origins as far back as the first C43 and E63 wagon), but the Benz was mostly a delight to operate despite weighing more than a fully laden minivan – and 3000 lbs more than Jason’s E30. The boys wonder why Mercedes has refused to implement the types of suspensions Porsche and Ferrari figured out for their sports cars years ago that allow for ultra-smooth cruising without sacrificing handling. In any case, the S63’s ¼-mile time leaves Derek’s jaw on the floor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Driving 1000 Miles In A 70-year old car — Carmudgeon Show Jason Cammisa & Derek Tam-Scott — Ep. 193

  Derek does the California Mille – California’s take on the 1000-mile Italian road rally, the Mille Miglia. Behind the wheel of a 1956 Alfa Romeo Giulietta Sprint Veloce, Derek (and OTS & Co. cofounder, Tazio Ottis), experienced some of central California’s best driving roads between Half Moon Bay and Calistoga alongside over 80 of the finest automobiles to exist by the mid-20th century. === This episode is sponsored by Vyper Industrial — America’s #1 rated shop chair, tool carts, and creepers, proudly made here in the US. Visit vyperindustrial.com and use code CARMUDGEON for $50 off. === Initially dreamt up by local driving legend and passionate car enthusiast, Martin Swig, the California Mille hopes to recreate some of the legendary driving experiences of Italy’s Mille Miglia. After Martin’s passing, his wife and two sons (specialists at Broad Arrow and Bring-a-Trailer ) carried on the tradition until the event was purchased by Hagerty in late 2020. It’s a swanky affair with spas, fancy lunches, drive-thru oyster bars, and open regular bars, with specialist mechanics and flatbed tow trucks at your beck and call. Naturally with 70-year-old (or older) cars, many breakdowns ensued. A Mercedes 300SL needed a tow, and a Ferrari 250 TdF required assistance from Patrick Ottis Company after several transmission components welded themselves together. A bolt came dislodged on the shift linkage of a Citroën ID promptly stranding it, but Derek's stash of spare bolts saved the day. Differentials were grenaded, and problematic torpedo fuses were replaced while still in motion. A woman in a Honda Accord even PIT-maneuvered a pre-war Bentley on the Golden Gate Bridge. The Carmudgeons discuss past rally experiences in a W201 190E in Europe, Jason’s 5000-mile trek to Ohio in his Scirocco, the Orange Blossom Rally in a Mazda Cosmo, and the BABE Rally in a $400 Cadillac stretch limo. Derek touches on the Colorado Grand Rally and Copper State Rally, and the boys discuss possibly starting the Curmudgeon Mille e Uno Rally. Derek points out that Miles Collier, cofounder of the precursor to the SCCA, posited that there are 2 types of enthusiasts: contemplative and experiential. Rallies are definitely for the latter. Plus Jason wears an un-tailored button-down, we dive headfirst into porta potties, and we wonder if the 1988 Honda Accord is too reliable to rally. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ultimate Automotive Playground — The Carmudgeon Show w Jason Cammisa & Derek Tam-Scott — Ep. 192

  Jason takes a trip to the new Tire Rack/Discount Tire/America’s Tire testing facility in Texas: Treadwell Research Park. In addition to testing grip levels on BMWs and Jeeps on a monstrous wet skid pad, off-road course, rock crawling trail and more, he discovers the many lessons to be learned by carefully studying tire wear data – including how where you live can have a huge impact on how quickly you burn through your tires! === This episode is sponsored by Vyper Industrial — America’s #1 rated shop chair, tool carts, and creepers, proudly made here in the US. Visit vyperindustrial.com and use code CARMUDGEON for $50 off. === In this episode, we learn that Tire Rack, America’s Tire and Discount Tire are all the same thing! But, more importantly, they now have a giant tire testing facility in Texas: Treadwell Research Park – an expansive property with dirt and mud trails, rock crawling, water crossings, serious grades, an absolutely enormous skid pad (that can be completely submerged in 2 mm of water in no time thanks to a pair of huge reservoirs and some seriously powerful pumps) and even a wet slalom course. Jason experienced all Treadwell had to offer behind the wheel of a 4-door Jeep Wrangler and BMW 330i and reports back. We’ll learn that at America’s Discount Rack you can get free tire rotations (with tire purchase) and free flat repair (no purchase necessary!). But they don’t hand out these services out of the kindness of their tire-loving hearts. It’s all part of Treadwell’s plan to collect and analyze all kinds of tire wear data to help customers make informed decisions when buying new tires and make better tires. They’ll collect information about a tire’s make, model, mileage, geographic location and more to find what compounds and tread patterns are best for specific use cases and guide customers to the best choice for their vehicle, driving style, climate, and location. For instance, they have discovered that folks living in twisty, hilly western Pennsylvania go through tires 20% faster than folks living in Nebraska. Derek suggests Treadwell implement a tire wear score so enthusiasts can compare notes and compete for total tire destruction domination. Similar to Treadwell Research Park (and Tire Rack’s other testing facility in South Bend, Indiana), Derek had the chance to experience a flooded skid “pan” at the CHP’s emergency vehicle operations course (EVOC) training grounds driving in Ford Crown Victorias and Dodge Chargers. Jason Fenske of Engineering Explained has been on a mission to teach the world about the importance of tires, and recently pitted a F80 BMW M3 Competition on mid-grade tires against a diesel Chysler PT Cruiser wearing fresh Continentals. Science ensued. Tires are indeed very important – and while some *coughpirellicough* will grip like no other, they tend to disintegrate in short order (and dramatically so). But they’re not all bad – the guys have kind things to say about the Cinturato CN36 and CN12. But the Carmudgeon tire of choice remains Michelins and Vredsteins, which are mounted on everything from Jason’s e-Golf, the Van, Jynah, the Ferrari 308, Derek’s R129, and even Jake’s wife’s Crosstrek. The guys will also discuss the Avon CR6ZZ, Trofeos and Cup 2s. Plus the Michelin AS3+ on Jason’s Mom’s Golf that wore down unusually quickly – this right after he had just replaced some 2-year-old cracking Hankooks with them. Perhaps his mom’s regular and sustained driving at 100 mph is to blame… We’ll also cover cheap lighting from oh, oh, oh, O’Reilly’s, Wagner halogens, and automotive lighting gemstones from Carello and Marchal. It’s all in the details! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Crowning The Hatchback King — The Carmudgeon Show w Jason Cammisa & Derek Tam-Scott — Ep. 191

  Did Jeep accidentally build one of the best hot hatches of the last 40 years? It's is smaller than a Mk8 GTI and could be had with a bulletproof 4.0L inline-six and 5-speed transmission. Can it possibly give the quintessential VW hot-hatch a run for its money? We’ll talk Jeep XJ Cherokee, its origins, and all 8 generations of GTI – from the 16v 2.0L, to the 8v 2-point-slow, the soulless 1.8T, the venerable VR6, and the electric e-Golf! === This episode is sponsored by Vyper Industrial — America’s #1 rated shop chair, tool carts, and creepers, proudly made here in the US. Visit vyperindustrial.com and use code CARMUDGEON for $50 off. === Welcome to the hot hatch episode! We’ll touch on some real oddballs in this one – like the Dodge Omni GLHS, Suzuki Swift, Chevrolet Sprint, and Mitsubishi Mirage. Plus some allegedly fabulous but forbidden fruit: the Peugeot 205 GTi Rally and Renault Clio Williams. Then we’ll dive into the Jeep XJ Cherokee which Jason just did a Revelations episode on. It began as the unibody successor to the giant and inefficient Jeep Wagoneer – a honking SUV with CJ Wrangler guts inside – which, incidentally, was a recipe being emulating across the globe as Toyota and Land Rover (to name a few) were also building more comfortable and luxurious SUVs using drivetrain bits from their more serious off-roaders like the BJ/FJ and Series II/III. The Cherokee followed the Range Rover away from the body-on-frame chassis and adopted unitary construction methods resulting in genuine handling prowess – even out-gripping a W201 Mercedes-Benz 190E. In fact, the chassis bones are so good you can find XJs competing amongst much sportier cars in 24 Hours of Lemons races across the country. Jason even deems the XJ one of his best back road drives ever. Sadly, early cars were excruciatingly slow thanks to an anemic Renault-built AMC engine. But that didn’t stop Jason from getting one of his very first speeding tickets in one. The little XJ made a lasting impression on nearly everyone who had the pleasure of experiencing one – including Derek, whose experiences in his mom’s are literally his earliest datable memories. The little Jeep was so popular that when the Grand Cherokee came along to replace it, so many people were still clamoring for the original Cherokee that Jeep decided they would just build both. After the Jeep, we jump into VW’s perennial hatchback hit: the GTI. All 8 generations have their pros and cons: Jason proclaims the VR6 to be one of the best sounding engines ever produced, and the 1.8T the worst VW ever made. The MQB platform underpinning the latest cars is declared spectacular. The Mk4 is a chubby baby Audi/Mercedes. The Mk6 fixes a lot of the hamster-styling of the Mk5, but the Mk5 has the better steering, just beware understeer. The Mk7 is a delight, especially if you can find yourself a Rabbit or Sport edition in Great Falls Green or Cornflower Blue. But even with a fancy color scheme, the humble e-Golf makes the better city car. Of note: Derek finally goes large-barging with a crew made up of a 560SEC, F-Type SVR, F-Pace SVR, a pair of R129s (one dogleg), and A4 2.8 Avant 5-speed, with his Mk5 GTI track car as a palette cleanser. Lastly, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and Leslie Nielsen are national treasures, and their comedy blockbusters from the 80s, 90s and 2000s are exquisite. But do they hold up as well today as a Jeep XJ? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Classic Car Buyers Beware — The Carmudgeon Show w Jason Cammisa & Derek Tam-Scott — Ep. 190

  How to not get ripped off when buying a used classic car! How to spot fakes, frauds and phonies! The importance of documentation and pre-purchase inspections, and other lessons learned over 50 collective years of car shopping! === This episode is sponsored by Vyper Industrial — America’s #1 rated shop chair, tool carts, and creepers, proudly made here in the US. Visit vyperindustrial.com and use code CARMUDGEON for $50 off. === We start off with a reminder to put fuel stabilizer in your car when it’s going to sit for a while – especially if you’re using garbage California gas. We debate what the acronym “smh” stands for, and discover there seems to be a cat-flatulence epidemic in France. Then we’ll dive right into the importance of the pre-purchase inspection (PPI) – something Jason thought he was more than qualified to perform himself on a Le Mans-blue Alfa Romeo GTV at Monterey Car Week several years ago. However, at the urging of concours car-prep extraordinaire, Tim McNair, Jason acquiesced and let expert automotive consultant, Chuck Wray, take a look at the car, and almost immediately discovered that Jason was moments away from buying two GTVs that had been stealthily welded into one. Derek will fill us in on how there can possibly be multiple “numbers matching” cars with the same serial numbers. And we’ll cover several of the factory-based archival certification programs like VW’s Birth Certificate, Porsche’s Kardex and Certificate of Authenticity, Lotus’ Certificate of Vehicle Provenance, and the British Motor Industry Heritage Trust. We’ll cover Ferrari Classiche (pronounced “classi-kay”), and the handful of exhaustive and painstakingly researched books detailing the specs of iconic models: Carrera RS, The Dino Compendium, and Simon Kidson's The Lamborghini Miura. Plus automotive engineering and restoration atelier, Pur Sang. We take a trip to Esoteria once again to discuss the subtlest model changes on cars like the Scirocco, Rover SD1 3500, Porsche 911 Carrera 2.7 RS, Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.3-16 and what each change signifies (or doesn’t in the case of VW’s haphazard product planning). Jason even uncovers a handful of U.S.-spec C43s accidentally left the factory wearing a Europe-only paint color, Black Opal. Which is actually blue. Jason’s approach to not getting screwed while buying a 996 cabriolet on eBay involves arriving at the seller’s in a blacked out E39 BMW 5-series wagon with Argentina plates and wielding a baseball bat – classic haggling. Meanwhile, Derek does everything by the book and pays for a $500 PPI on a Porsche 911 he found online, only for it to arrive smoking and in need of a head rebuild. Both Carmudgeons revel in learning the histories of their cars (and others’ cars): Jason getting the original paperwork for the Ferrari 308 GT4 from distributor Chinetti-Garthwaite to dealer Schwing Motor Company in 1975, and Derek tracking down his friend’s 356’s Kardex and subsequently locating photos of the car with its original owner when the car was brand new. There's loads of automotive history, forensics, anthropology and archaeology in this one! The question is, would you give up your original California plate if it meant no more SMOG checks? Leno's Law hopes to find out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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